When we were growing up, our family was everything to us. They were the
safe place to run to. They were the calm in the storm. They were the
people whose opinions we trusted most and whose advice we took to heart.
But over the years, especially the teen years, the voices of our mom
and dad become more like nails on a chalkboard than the sweet sound of
comfort. So what happened? Our relationship evolved. And while that
isn’t necessarily the most comfortable thing in the world for a teenager
to go through, it also isn’t the worst thing either. So what do we do
as our students become less and less willing to listen to the wisdom
their families give? How do we handle the everyday conflicts that come
up between students and their families? These are important questions
worth finding answers to. Because, let’s face it, the relationship is
changing. But as difficult as this may be to handle right now, that
change can be for the good of everyone.
Session One: Adapt (Feb. 16th)
Bottom Line: Growing away from our families feels uncomfortable, but it’s an essential part of growing up.
Summer turns into fall and the leaves change. The cold weather creeps in and suddenly winter is upon us. Seasons are a good thing. They remind us that everything changes and progresses. And when it comes to families, sometimes we need that reminder too. As our students adjust to no longer being just a son or daughter, but also being a friend, a schoolmate, an athlete, a musician—or whatever else might begin to define who they are—they sometimes need the reminder that all this change is normal. That the tension this change brings is normal. And while the changing way they relate to their parents may feel weird, it’s not only good—it’s necessary. The key is learning to live in the tension that changing from season to season requires.
Summer turns into fall and the leaves change. The cold weather creeps in and suddenly winter is upon us. Seasons are a good thing. They remind us that everything changes and progresses. And when it comes to families, sometimes we need that reminder too. As our students adjust to no longer being just a son or daughter, but also being a friend, a schoolmate, an athlete, a musician—or whatever else might begin to define who they are—they sometimes need the reminder that all this change is normal. That the tension this change brings is normal. And while the changing way they relate to their parents may feel weird, it’s not only good—it’s necessary. The key is learning to live in the tension that changing from season to season requires.
Session Two: Adjust (Feb. 23rd)
Bottom Line: When your parents are no longer the primary voice speaking into your life, you need someone else speaking into your life with wisdom.
When the world is caving in and your students just need someone to talk to, the first person they run to is their mom or dad, right? No? Then who do they go to when they need a listening ear? A best friend? Anyone who will listen? In Proverbs, Solomon encourages us to seek wisdom. And while parents may be full of wisdom, they aren’t always the first people our students choose to run to. So maybe, as the relationship with their parents changes and grows, we need to help our teenagers find someone else who can be that voice of wisdom in their lives. And finding that new voice could mean that students offer their parents some peace of mind. Because while their parents may not be hearing everything, someone is, and that someone cares for this student and the choices they are making.
Bottom Line: When your parents are no longer the primary voice speaking into your life, you need someone else speaking into your life with wisdom.
When the world is caving in and your students just need someone to talk to, the first person they run to is their mom or dad, right? No? Then who do they go to when they need a listening ear? A best friend? Anyone who will listen? In Proverbs, Solomon encourages us to seek wisdom. And while parents may be full of wisdom, they aren’t always the first people our students choose to run to. So maybe, as the relationship with their parents changes and grows, we need to help our teenagers find someone else who can be that voice of wisdom in their lives. And finding that new voice could mean that students offer their parents some peace of mind. Because while their parents may not be hearing everything, someone is, and that someone cares for this student and the choices they are making.
Session Three: Advance (March 1st)
Bottom Line: Wherever you are in your family relationships right now, your goal should be making less of yourself and more of Jesus.
“If there is a season for everything, then when is this one going to end?” Maybe this is what you’ve been hearing over the course of this series. But here’s the thing: Perspective in the here and now matters. While it may be hard for your students not to focus on the future—and where they’ll be when they’re anywhere but where they are now—the present matters. But how can our students learn how to live with less of themselves and more of what matters most—Jesus? Who and what are getting the final say in their lives? The future may look like a better place to your students, but while the relationship with their parents will change, it will never completely disappear. Ultimately, we want to help students begin dealing with the present conflicts—learning to take on the character of Christ in the midst of the relational challenges they face right now.
Bottom Line: Wherever you are in your family relationships right now, your goal should be making less of yourself and more of Jesus.
“If there is a season for everything, then when is this one going to end?” Maybe this is what you’ve been hearing over the course of this series. But here’s the thing: Perspective in the here and now matters. While it may be hard for your students not to focus on the future—and where they’ll be when they’re anywhere but where they are now—the present matters. But how can our students learn how to live with less of themselves and more of what matters most—Jesus? Who and what are getting the final say in their lives? The future may look like a better place to your students, but while the relationship with their parents will change, it will never completely disappear. Ultimately, we want to help students begin dealing with the present conflicts—learning to take on the character of Christ in the midst of the relational challenges they face right now.