1. We’re Teaching this.
Thirty-five
hundred years ago Moses came down from Mt. Sinai with a short list of rules
that has shaped the values of people and nations for centuries. We know them as
the Ten Commandments, but do we really
know them? Many people believe that the rules are a condition for a
relationship with God, things we must do to get in His good graces. That is the
opposite of the truth! The relationship came before the rules. And the
commandments were meant to not only reveal God’s heart, but to keep His people
free.
Session 1 Summary: Rules (10/29)
To many, Christianity is about following a set of
rules. And if you asked them “Why?” they would point to a single source—the
Bible. Specifically, they would probably mention the Ten Commandments. But what
most people miss is the whole context for that list. God established a
relationship with the Israelites long before He even gave them the rules. He
wanted them to know they were His people. The reality is that following the
rules will never make God love us more. In fact, when you try to live them out,
you begin to see just how much you need Him. With God, the relationship always
precedes the rules. Always.
Session 2 Summary: One & Only (11/5)
The first two commandments—“You shall have no other
gods before me” and “You shall not make for yourself an idol”— are two of the
most often forgotten. They have nothing to do with ego—in fact, they have more
to do with us. If our lives revolved around God, then all of the other
commandments, such as stealing, lying, adultery, etc., wouldn’t be an issue. So
what would your life look like if you had no other gods but God?
Session 3 Summary: That’s Not My Name (11/12)
Have you ever said God’s name when you were angry
or rattled off “OMG”? If so, you may have heard someone talk about you breaking
one of the Ten—the one about misusing God’s name. But there’s much more to this
command. Just think about it, do you think that’s all God was concerned about?
Do you think that was the only reason He put it on such an important list? The
reality is that we abuse God’s name when we choose to use it for our own
selfish purposes—and that’s a dangerous game that involves more than just a careless
slip of the tongue. If we dodge the will of God in the name of God, then we run
the risk of missing God entirely.
Session 4 Summary: Do Nothing (11/19)
How crazy is your life? Doesn’t it seem like the
weeks go by so fast? Okay, maybe not the school day or your shift at work—but
the rest of your time, like your free time—how much of it seems to just
disappear before you know it? What if you were more intentional with your time?
More specifically, what if you spent time each week pausing, reflecting and acknowledging
what God has done for you and everyone else the rest of the week? What if you
took time to stop, rest and realize that no matter how much you thought you
were in control of every minute, He was really in control all along?
Session 5 Summary: Unto Others (12/3)
The final six commandments illustrate a key truth
about God—He cares a great deal about how we treat each other. In fact, these
commandments were so revolutionary at the time because they showed that
everyone had worth and value. God gave us these laws, not as some type of
admissions test into heaven, but as instructions on how to live and be free in
Him. He knows that not only is our relationship with Him important, but so are
the relationships He has placed in our lives.
2. Think About This
From
Losing
Your Marbles / Playing for Keeps by Reggie Joiner, Kristen Ivy, Elizabeth Hansen
Most of you aren’t planning to pack up a duffle bag, walk out the door, and never turn around. But there are times, for many of us, when we (unintentionally) disengage emotionally.
There will come a time in
every kid’s life when things get messy. Maybe they get sick. Maybe they become
sad or hurt emotionally. Maybe they suffer a natural consequence to a decision
they made. These aren’t
the kind of circumstances you create, and you certainly can’t
change them—even though you might want to. But how you respond in these
critical moments will forever impact your relationship. And it will affect the
way they respond to and interpret their situations.
It’s interesting when you
read the Bible and watch how God interacted with the Israelites in the Old
Testament. He showed up. He gave them rules. And then they broke the rules,
over and over and over again.
Maybe rules were made knowing they would be broken. It’s not that rules weren’t made to be followed. I’m sure if we all followed every rule, there would be less anger, pain, and violence. When a rule is broken, it creates a unique opportunity to prove love.
Maybe rules were made knowing they would be broken. It’s not that rules weren’t made to be followed. I’m sure if we all followed every rule, there would be less anger, pain, and violence. When a rule is broken, it creates a unique opportunity to prove love.
In other words, you have
an opportunity as a parent or as a leader
to show up in the life of a kid or teenager to give them
rules that will help keep them safe physically and emotionally. But when they
break a rule (and at some point they will), and you show up anyway, you
communicate unconditional love.
That’s what God did. He
gave the rules.
We broke them.
He showed up anyway.
It doesn’t mean that there won’t be consequences. It doesn’t mean that there’s no place for correction or instruction. Of course, we want to help kids and teenagers learn from their experiences and make wise choices in the future. But it does mean that you should never punish them relationally. Regardless of what they’ve done, you still have the opportunity to show up to prove…
It doesn’t mean that there won’t be consequences. It doesn’t mean that there’s no place for correction or instruction. Of course, we want to help kids and teenagers learn from their experiences and make wise choices in the future. But it does mean that you should never punish them relationally. Regardless of what they’ve done, you still have the opportunity to show up to prove…
- You aren’t going anywhere.
- They still matter.
- You will see them
through the mess.
3. Try This
Mistakes are both healthy and
inevitable. So how do we respond in a way that reinforces boundaries without
risking the relationship?
- Decide in advance how you will respond. In tough moments, with emotions running high,
it is so tempting to respond with words or actions that you may later
regret. Have a family plan for what happens when rules are broken.
- Keep the relationship first. If we model permanent, life-long,
nothing-you-can-do-will-keep-me-from-loving-you relationships, they will
learn to do the same.
- Stick to the consequences. Consequences are healthy. One of the best
things you can do for your student is plan, implement, and stick with
consequences. When they apologize
or we sense remorse, it is so tempting to say, “Oh alright, no
consequences this time”, but remember that they are learning a principle
that they will apply to more than one situation.
- Communicate the plan. An easy way to confirm that students understand
expectations is have them repeat them back to you in the form of an
“if/then” statement. For example: “If I get all A’s, then I will be
allowed to have a sleepover.” “If I text after 10pm, then I will lose my
phone for 1 week.”
Get connected to a wider
community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.