1,
We’re Teaching this.
Movements are everywhere. “To write love on her
arms”, “Tom’s Shoes”, “Livestrong”, “Habitat for Humanity”, and the “End-It
Movement”—all of those and hundreds more were created during our lifetime. In
fact, one of the traits that this generation is known for is being the most
cause-driven, the most movement focused in history. So which movements do we
join? How do we start? And how do we move and serve in a way that really
matters? Even if we aren’t sure what we think about Jesus, we can learn
something from Him about serving the community around us. By His example we
learn to MOVE on behalf of others and KEEP MOVING to have a lasting impact.
Session 1 Summary: The Main Event (1/28/14)
Have
you ever volunteered or been involved in a service event, felt the exhilaration
of moving to help others only to feel a little let down when it was over? Have
you ever felt really committed to a cause or charity only to feel like someone
flipped a switch and your focus shifted back to your everyday life? When we
look at the life of Jesus, we see Someone who served without a turn-off switch.
And when we choose to serve as He served, when it becomes part of who we are,
we experience the joy of knowing we have a lasting impact.
Session 2 Summary: Make the Switch (2/4/14)
Causes
are everywhere. On TV, on social media,
at school, and definitely at church. It seems there are a million ways to help
people. So why does it seem so hard to get and stay involved? James, the
brother of Jesus, had a lot to say about helping others, possibly because he
saw the way his Brother lived. Through his words we find that it actually may
be more simple than we think. That when we choose to focus on God and others,
and less on ourselves, serving becomes much less complicated.
2.
Think About This
Have you ever had a conversation with your teenager that felt
like a complete flop? Like your words bounced off a brick wall? You’re probably
not alone. Most parents feel incredible pressure to have meaningful
conversations with their students, and yet those conversations are met with
resistance if not total refusal to engage. This is especially true when it
comes to matters of faith—like attending church or serving others. When parents
seem willing enough to talk, why is it that teens often feel so resistant to
listening?
It may
be all in the approach. Many teens feel like every parent-initiated
conversation has an agenda. And let’s be honest, they may be right. During the
teen years, as parents realize their time with their teen is limited, there is
a sense of urgency surrounding all of the life lessons and important
conversations that they feel they SHOULD have with their child before college.
With the pressure mounting to work in all of these lessons, it is easy for
parents to resort to talking at their
student instead of talking with
them. While the intentions are good, if
the majority of conversations center around a lesson, teens can end up feeling
like they don’t measure up. Like their parents care more about “fixing them” or
“setting them straight” than they do about connecting with them. Who wants to
feel that way all the time?
This
sort of dynamic can make conversations about faith even more tricky. It can set
up students to feel inadequate and then tune out the parents. And tuned out
parents feel equally inadequate and want to stop trying. What a mess!
Helping
students live out their faith, helping them develop values and habits they will
carry into adulthood is one of the most important parts of a parent’s job. So
how do you teach those lessons without running the risk of being shut out? How
do you have a conversation without having “a talk”? How do you begin to move
forward in your relationship and not backwards?
Maybe
the answer is actually to talk less. Remember when they were little and they
wanted to play baseball like dad or dress up like mom? Remember how they
imitated the way that you talk (maybe a little too much)? While teens don’t make it as obvious, they still take
cues about what is important by watching their parents. What you prioritize,
what you organize your schedule and budget around will communicate loudly what
you believe is important-without ever having to tell them.
So
maybe instead of talking about the importance of spending money wisely, you
invite them to help you figure out the family budget this month. Maybe instead
of working “church” into the conversation, you simply trust that your example,
that your commitment, is sending the message. Maybe instead of talking about
the importance of serving others, it’s just something you do together.
When
you lead with your actions, it takes a lot of pressure off the conversation.
And the more conversations you have, without a lesson attached, the more your
teen will trust that you like them, as a person. The more they will believe
that you think they’re a good person. It might even open the door to more
meaningful conversation—because now you’re talking with them and not at them.
3.
Try This
Developing a habit of serving, or
moving on behalf of others as a family, can seem daunting when family schedules
and budgets are already stretched to the max. But serving doesn’t mean that you
have to volunteer at a soup kitchen every week or build a well in Africa on
your own. Simply meeting one person’s need is a big step and will go a long way
in helping your teenager develop an awareness for the needs around him or her.
Choose one elderly neighbor or single
mom in your community and invite your student to help you decide on ONE THING
you can do for that person. Something as simple as making them dinner and
bringing it over could make their day. And every member of the family can be
involved. Invite your student to help you decide on the menu, buy the
groceries, prepare and deliver the meal.
Serving somewhere every week or every
month may not be a possibility for your family, but simply developing an
awareness of the needs around you and moving on behalf of one person can help
students develop the habit of caring for the world around them.
Get connected to a wider community of
parents at www.orangeparents.org.