We believe to have a lasting impact and reach this next generation is to see the light of the church be combined with the heart of the family. We desire to continually grow as a ministry in our partnership with parents. There is great power in a parent who raises up a child spiritually, and we want you to know you don’t have to do it alone. The Parent Cue is one way to come alongside your teen in what they are learning.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Series: BRANDED (Jan. 7th - Jan. 21st)

1. We’re Teaching this.
Branding- it’s everywhere. You can’t turn on the TV or drive down the street without seeing hundreds of ads and billboards. Companies spend millions of dollars trying to shape how YOU see THEM, developing their brand. But what about the Church? What are WE known for? Philippians chapter 2, has a lot to say about the way we love others. As we unpack this chapter, we discover that our love for people, both inside and outside the church, ultimately determines what we are known for—our brand.

Session 1: Unified (1/7)
Being branded is a reality. We can’t escape it. Based on any number of things, people will brand us with something—positive or negative. In a series of letters, the apostle Paul urged the churches he served to guard their brand-their identity-by choosing to “agree with one another whole heartedly” and extend the love and acceptance that they had experienced to others. What Paul knew was that by being known for these things we develop a positive brand and gain influence in the world around us.

Session 2: Unselfish (1/14)
Isn’t it true—fair or unfair—that Christians sometimes have a negative brand? If not by people you know, then by culture itself? Don’t some people just assume that Christians are going to be self-righteous, judgmental, maybe even closed-minded, or worst of all, boring? Believe it or not, church was never supposed to be like this. In fact, it’s almost as if Paul anticipated this problem when he reminds us to live unselfishly, to be known for looking out for others interests more than our own. By doing this, we can change our brand little by little.

Session 3: Unique (1/21)
What makes a person appealing? What is it about them that makes you want to spend more time with them? When it comes to the Christians, usually the passion a person has for their faith and the way they treat others are what makes people want to run toward them or run away. The apostle Paul encourages us to shine like bright lights and live in a way that attracts other people to our faith. What if the most important thing we could do for the world around is to live in such a way that others see our faith and want to join in?

2. Think About This
From Losing Your Marbles / Playing for Keeps by Reggie Joiner, Kristen Ivy, Elizabeth Hansen

I remember a few years ago when I was leading a small group and one of the girls had stopped attending. I knew she was making some unwise choices related to drinking, and she was choosing not to come to church anymore because she didn’t want to feel judged. But here’s the interesting thing: she still liked hanging out. We would meet from time to time, at Starbucks, at a school event,—anywhere that she knew we would have fun. And
in those moments, I didn’t talk about her decisions. She knew what I thought. But I knew at that juncture in her life, it was more important to have fun and stay connected than to continue reminding her of something she already knew.
Hint: most kids and teenagers shut down when you take the eye-to-eye, “let’s talk about what’s going on” approach, they tend to talk when they’re engaged in a fun activity, not making eye contact, and feel in control of the agenda.
If you’re a parent, you may need to set aside time with your kids when you agree not to discuss their issues. This can be especially true if they are in a tough season of life. When the tension is high, you need a scheduled break—just to have fun together.
It’s not that fun is the most important thing. If you give teenagers words and stories that are boring, they may not care. If you belong to a tribe that never laughs, they won’t want to be a part of it.
So whatever you do this week,
make it fun.
3. Try This

When is the last time your family had fun without an agenda? No strings attached, fun? No lesson involved, fun? No obligations to the baseball team, work picnic, church activity or school involved, fun?

Maybe it’s time for that.

Ask your student for ideas on something that they think would be really fun to do as a family. Students tend to engage more when they have some input into which activity is chosen. Say something like this, “I think it’s time we do something fun as a family. How would you feel about planning it?” Some students really like to go to the mall. Others hate it. Some would love to play mini-golf with their family. Others would cringe at the idea. Allowing them to plan the event, offering some ownership, can help students have a positive attitude and prevent the dreaded eye-roll.  

As parents, sometimes the idea of a family event can be intimidating. “What if my teenager doesn’t want to be seen in public with me?”  That’s the great thing about letting THEM choose. They may choose a big night out but or they may ask for a simple movie night in the house. Choose to have fun together no matter what you do!  Simply spending time together as a family without fighting can go a long way in easing the tension between parents and teens.

Make a commitment on your part to do the activity—no agenda, no complaining, and no lecturing. So give them a budget limit, if appropriate, and let them be as creative or as simple as they want
Just have fun together. Remember, the goal is to let students know you not only love them, but you like them and what better way to communicate that than by hanging out with them and having fun?

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.


Monday, December 9, 2013

Series: CHRISTMAS BEHIND THE SCENES (Dec.10th - Dec.17th)

1. We’re Teaching this.
We’ve all seen the nativity with perfectly positioned characters, well-behaved animals, and a holy glow surrounding it all. We see everyone in the scene as if they are one big happy family celebrating the first, and probably the only, perfect Christmas. Contrast this perfect picture with our own lives, our own families and holiday drama, and we may feel the Christmas story looks nothing like our own. But what if you able to pull back the curtain and see past the picture-perfect silent night? When we look closely, we find that the REAL Christmas story, the uncut, behind-the-scenes version looks more like our own than we would have ever imagined. And the same God who scripted these imperfect characters into His story is calling to join him there as well.

Session 1: Messy (12/10)
Have you ever looked at a crowd of people and wondered where you fit? Most of us have. For many of us, this feeling is especially noticeable at Christmastime. In the busyness of family plans and the frenzy of crowded malls, we find ourselves a little lost, wondering if we even matter. In this way, not much has changed since the first Christmas. A dirty group of shepherds with a poor reputation were the last group anyone would have expected to play a key role in God’s story. And they remind us that no matter how insignificant we feel, no matter how much we think we know who God will or won’t use, we all have a part to play.

Session 2: Awkward (12/17)
Why does it seem people get so crazy around the holidays. Whether their fighting with their family or fighting for the best bargain, emotions seem to run a little higher this time of year. And when emotions are involved, everything is more complicated. Joseph was a young man with some big decisions. With a pregnant fiancĂ© and his reputation on the line, there were a ton of emotions and no clear answer. For Joseph to move forward with God, he had to move past his emotions.  In his story we find that choosing God’s direction over how we feel can be the most important decision we ever make. 

2. Think About This
On some level, Christmas brings out the inner child in everyone. Who doesn’t love twinkling lights, hot chocolate, and singing at a stranger’s door? Somewhere between the smell of baked cookies and the promise of a wrapped present, the familiar wonder of childhood Christmas returns. Of course, when we were children and everything seemed perfect, we were oblivious to the stress of our parents. We had no idea that the perfect tradition was grandma’s demand and not mom’s idea. No one told us that the budgeting caused tension or that “Santa” was up until 4am putting together that bike. All we remember is the warm memories and the feeling of perfection. And that’s what we try to pass on to our families.

While childhood wonder is a beautiful thing, trying to recreate every memory can be enough to drive any parent crazy. Add that pressure to the endless images of the happy, well-behaved families who portray what Christmas should be on TV. The result is moms, dads, and stepparents scrambling to add one more present, one more party, one more tradition, in hopes that their kids don’t get cheated out of the holiday experience. Somewhere in all of the going, doing and buying, our hopes for perfection can dissolve into a stressful frenzy to just get through it.

Wouldn’t it be nice if Christmas actually brought peace? To our families? To our schedules? What would it mean for your family to feel more unified and energized at the end of the holidays? Here are two ideas to consider:

Consider Letting Go of Something. Have you ever seen the child at the mall who clings to a toy? The one who swears to his mom that Christmas will be RUINED without it? In some ways, many adults act like that child, adding stress to their families by clinging to their own traditions (trust me, I’ve been there). They demand that the tradition continues. It’s no wonder the apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:13, When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. Traditions are great. But if you find yourself clinging to them like a child, it may be time to put them behind you.

Take a Closer Look at the Nativity. The hiccups and imperfections of our holidays are not that different from the first Christmas. The Christmas narrative is a story of surprises and unexpected complications. An inexplicably pregnant teenager. A government requirement for taxes and travel. A pack of unkempt shepherds. They all leave the reader wondering how the angels could have possibly announced “Peace on Earth” as the headline for it all. Yet this is the Christmas we sing songs about. This is the Christmas we retell and reenact. Remembering the original Christmas is a great way to remind ourselves that the holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.

Peace takes more planning than conflict. Rest takes more intentionality than frenzied rush. But those are the real memory makers. Those are the things that our children will pass on to our grandchildren. This season, would you commit to planning peace as a part of your family holiday experience?

3. Try This
It’s easy to get so overwhelmed by holiday plans that we lose the peace that Christmas was meant to bring To get everyone back to the same page, try reading the following devotion and discussing the questions as a family.

How would you define peace?
How can our family focus on peace this Christmas?
As a family, let’s consider focusing on peace with a 24-Hour Ceasefire. For the 24 hours of Christmas day, would we consider declaring a peace zone in our home and focus on how great God is?
Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org