Series: MOVE (Jan. 28th - Feb. 4th)

1, We’re Teaching this.

Movements are everywhere. “To write love on her arms”, “Tom’s Shoes”, “Livestrong”, “Habitat for Humanity”, and the “End-It Movement”—all of those and hundreds more were created during our lifetime. In fact, one of the traits that this generation is known for is being the most cause-driven, the most movement focused in history. So which movements do we join? How do we start? And how do we move and serve in a way that really matters? Even if we aren’t sure what we think about Jesus, we can learn something from Him about serving the community around us. By His example we learn to MOVE on behalf of others and KEEP MOVING to have a lasting impact.

Session 1 Summary: The Main Event (1/28/14)

Have you ever volunteered or been involved in a service event, felt the exhilaration of moving to help others only to feel a little let down when it was over? Have you ever felt really committed to a cause or charity only to feel like someone flipped a switch and your focus shifted back to your everyday life? When we look at the life of Jesus, we see Someone who served without a turn-off switch. And when we choose to serve as He served, when it becomes part of who we are, we experience the joy of knowing we have a lasting impact.

Session 2 Summary: Make the Switch (2/4/14)

Causes are everywhere.  On TV, on social media, at school, and definitely at church. It seems there are a million ways to help people. So why does it seem so hard to get and stay involved? James, the brother of Jesus, had a lot to say about helping others, possibly because he saw the way his Brother lived. Through his words we find that it actually may be more simple than we think. That when we choose to focus on God and others, and less on ourselves, serving becomes much less complicated.

2. Think About This

Have you ever had a conversation with your teenager that felt like a complete flop? Like your words bounced off a brick wall? You’re probably not alone. Most parents feel incredible pressure to have meaningful conversations with their students, and yet those conversations are met with resistance if not total refusal to engage. This is especially true when it comes to matters of faith—like attending church or serving others. When parents seem willing enough to talk, why is it that teens often feel so resistant to listening?

It may be all in the approach. Many teens feel like every parent-initiated conversation has an agenda. And let’s be honest, they may be right. During the teen years, as parents realize their time with their teen is limited, there is a sense of urgency surrounding all of the life lessons and important conversations that they feel they SHOULD have with their child before college. With the pressure mounting to work in all of these lessons, it is easy for parents to resort to talking at their student instead of talking with them.  While the intentions are good, if the majority of conversations center around a lesson, teens can end up feeling like they don’t measure up. Like their parents care more about “fixing them” or “setting them straight” than they do about connecting with them. Who wants to feel that way all the time?

This sort of dynamic can make conversations about faith even more tricky. It can set up students to feel inadequate and then tune out the parents. And tuned out parents feel equally inadequate and want to stop trying. What a mess!

Helping students live out their faith, helping them develop values and habits they will carry into adulthood is one of the most important parts of a parent’s job. So how do you teach those lessons without running the risk of being shut out? How do you have a conversation without having “a talk”? How do you begin to move forward in your relationship and not backwards?

Maybe the answer is actually to talk less. Remember when they were little and they wanted to play baseball like dad or dress up like mom? Remember how they imitated the way that you talk (maybe a little too much)? While teens don’t make it as obvious, they still take cues about what is important by watching their parents. What you prioritize, what you organize your schedule and budget around will communicate loudly what you believe is important-without ever having to tell them.

So maybe instead of talking about the importance of spending money wisely, you invite them to help you figure out the family budget this month. Maybe instead of working “church” into the conversation, you simply trust that your example, that your commitment, is sending the message. Maybe instead of talking about the importance of serving others, it’s just something you do together.

When you lead with your actions, it takes a lot of pressure off the conversation. And the more conversations you have, without a lesson attached, the more your teen will trust that you like them, as a person. The more they will believe that you think they’re a good person. It might even open the door to more meaningful conversation—because now you’re talking with them and not at them.

3. Try This

Developing a habit of serving, or moving on behalf of others as a family, can seem daunting when family schedules and budgets are already stretched to the max. But serving doesn’t mean that you have to volunteer at a soup kitchen every week or build a well in Africa on your own. Simply meeting one person’s need is a big step and will go a long way in helping your teenager develop an awareness for the needs around him or her.

Choose one elderly neighbor or single mom in your community and invite your student to help you decide on ONE THING you can do for that person. Something as simple as making them dinner and bringing it over could make their day. And every member of the family can be involved. Invite your student to help you decide on the menu, buy the groceries, prepare and deliver the meal.

Serving somewhere every week or every month may not be a possibility for your family, but simply developing an awareness of the needs around you and moving on behalf of one person can help students develop the habit of caring for the world around them.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

Series: BRANDED (Jan. 7th - Jan. 21st)

1. We’re Teaching this.

Branding- it’s everywhere. You can’t turn on the TV or drive down the street without seeing hundreds of ads and billboards. Companies spend millions of dollars trying to shape how YOU see THEM, developing their brand. But what about the Church? What are WE known for? Philippians chapter 2, has a lot to say about the way we love others. As we unpack this chapter, we discover that our love for people, both inside and outside the church, ultimately determines what we are known for—our brand.

Session 1: Unified (1/7)

Being branded is a reality. We can’t escape it. Based on any number of things, people will brand us with something—positive or negative. In a series of letters, the apostle Paul urged the churches he served to guard their brand-their identity-by choosing to “agree with one another whole heartedly” and extend the love and acceptance that they had experienced to others. What Paul knew was that by being known for these things we develop a positive brand and gain influence in the world around us.

Session 2: Unselfish (1/14)

Isn’t it true—fair or unfair—that Christians sometimes have a negative brand? If not by people you know, then by culture itself? Don’t some people just assume that Christians are going to be self-righteous, judgmental, maybe even closed-minded, or worst of all, boring? Believe it or not, church was never supposed to be like this. In fact, it’s almost as if Paul anticipated this problem when he reminds us to live unselfishly, to be known for looking out for others interests more than our own. By doing this, we can change our brand little by little.

Session 3: Unique (1/21)

What makes a person appealing? What is it about them that makes you want to spend more time with them? When it comes to the Christians, usually the passion a person has for their faith and the way they treat others are what makes people want to run toward them or run away. The apostle Paul encourages us to shine like bright lights and live in a way that attracts other people to our faith. What if the most important thing we could do for the world around is to live in such a way that others see our faith and want to join in?

2. Think About This

From Losing Your Marbles / Playing for Keeps by Reggie Joiner, Kristen Ivy, Elizabeth Hansen

I remember a few years ago when I was leading a small group and one of the girls had stopped attending. I knew she was making some unwise choices related to drinking, and she was choosing not to come to church anymore because she didn’t want to feel judged. But here’s the interesting thing: she still liked hanging out. We would meet from time to time, at Starbucks, at a school event,—anywhere that she knew we would have fun. And
in those moments, I didn’t talk about her decisions. She knew what I thought. But I knew at that juncture in her life, it was more important to have fun and stay connected than to continue reminding her of something she already knew.

Hint: most kids and teenagers shut down when you take the eye-to-eye, “let’s talk about what’s going on” approach, they tend to talk when they’re engaged in a fun activity, not making eye contact, and feel in control of the agenda.

If you’re a parent, you may need to set aside time with your kids when you agree not to discuss their issues. This can be especially true if they are in a tough season of life. When the tension is high, you need a scheduled break—just to have fun together.

It’s not that fun is the most important thing. If you give teenagers words and stories that are boring, they may not care. If you belong to a tribe that never laughs, they won’t want to be a part of it.

So whatever you do this week,

make it fun.

3. Try This

When is the last time your family had fun without an agenda? No strings attached, fun? No lesson involved, fun? No obligations to the baseball team, work picnic, church activity or school involved, fun?

Maybe it’s time for that.

Ask your student for ideas on something that they think would be really fun to do as a family. Students tend to engage more when they have some input into which activity is chosen. Say something like this, “I think it’s time we do something fun as a family. How would you feel about planning it?” Some students really like to go to the mall. Others hate it. Some would love to play mini-golf with their family. Others would cringe at the idea. Allowing them to plan the event, offering some ownership, can help students have a positive attitude and prevent the dreaded eye-roll.  

As parents, sometimes the idea of a family event can be intimidating. “What if my teenager doesn’t want to be seen in public with me?”  That’s the great thing about letting THEM choose. They may choose a big night out but or they may ask for a simple movie night in the house. Choose to have fun together no matter what you do!  Simply spending time together as a family without fighting can go a long way in easing the tension between parents and teens.

Make a commitment on your part to do the activity—no agenda, no complaining, and no lecturing. So give them a budget limit, if appropriate, and let them be as creative or as simple as they want

Just have fun together. Remember, the goal is to let students know you not only love them, but you like them and what better way to communicate that than by hanging out with them and having fun?

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

Series: CHRISTMAS BEHIND THE SCENES (Dec.10th - Dec.17th)

1. We’re Teaching this.

We’ve all seen the nativity with perfectly positioned characters, well-behaved animals, and a holy glow surrounding it all. We see everyone in the scene as if they are one big happy family celebrating the first, and probably the only, perfect Christmas. Contrast this perfect picture with our own lives, our own families and holiday drama, and we may feel the Christmas story looks nothing like our own. But what if you able to pull back the curtain and see past the picture-perfect silent night? When we look closely, we find that the REAL Christmas story, the uncut, behind-the-scenes version looks more like our own than we would have ever imagined. And the same God who scripted these imperfect characters into His story is calling to join him there as well.

Session 1: Messy (12/10)

Have you ever looked at a crowd of people and wondered where you fit? Most of us have. For many of us, this feeling is especially noticeable at Christmastime. In the busyness of family plans and the frenzy of crowded malls, we find ourselves a little lost, wondering if we even matter. In this way, not much has changed since the first Christmas. A dirty group of shepherds with a poor reputation were the last group anyone would have expected to play a key role in God’s story. And they remind us that no matter how insignificant we feel, no matter how much we think we know who God will or won’t use, we all have a part to play.

Session 2: Awkward (12/17)

Why does it seem people get so crazy around the holidays. Whether their fighting with their family or fighting for the best bargain, emotions seem to run a little higher this time of year. And when emotions are involved, everything is more complicated. Joseph was a young man with some big decisions. With a pregnant fiancé and his reputation on the line, there were a ton of emotions and no clear answer. For Joseph to move forward with God, he had to move past his emotions.  In his story we find that choosing God’s direction over how we feel can be the most important decision we ever make. 

2. Think About This

On some level, Christmas brings out the inner child in everyone. Who doesn’t love twinkling lights, hot chocolate, and singing at a stranger’s door? Somewhere between the smell of baked cookies and the promise of a wrapped present, the familiar wonder of childhood Christmas returns. Of course, when we were children and everything seemed perfect, we were oblivious to the stress of our parents. We had no idea that the perfect tradition was grandma’s demand and not mom’s idea. No one told us that the budgeting caused tension or that “Santa” was up until 4am putting together that bike. All we remember is the warm memories and the feeling of perfection. And that’s what we try to pass on to our families.

While childhood wonder is a beautiful thing, trying to recreate every memory can be enough to drive any parent crazy. Add that pressure to the endless images of the happy, well-behaved families who portray what Christmas should be on TV. The result is moms, dads, and stepparents scrambling to add one more present, one more party, one more tradition, in hopes that their kids don’t get cheated out of the holiday experience. Somewhere in all of the going, doing and buying, our hopes for perfection can dissolve into a stressful frenzy to just get through it.

Wouldn’t it be nice if Christmas actually brought peace? To our families? To our schedules? What would it mean for your family to feel more unified and energized at the end of the holidays? Here are two ideas to consider:

Consider Letting Go of Something. Have you ever seen the child at the mall who clings to a toy? The one who swears to his mom that Christmas will be RUINED without it? In some ways, many adults act like that child, adding stress to their families by clinging to their own traditions (trust me, I’ve been there). They demand that the tradition continues. It’s no wonder the apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:13, When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. Traditions are great. But if you find yourself clinging to them like a child, it may be time to put them behind you.

Take a Closer Look at the Nativity. The hiccups and imperfections of our holidays are not that different from the first Christmas. The Christmas narrative is a story of surprises and unexpected complications. An inexplicably pregnant teenager. A government requirement for taxes and travel. A pack of unkempt shepherds. They all leave the reader wondering how the angels could have possibly announced “Peace on Earth” as the headline for it all. Yet this is the Christmas we sing songs about. This is the Christmas we retell and reenact. Remembering the original Christmas is a great way to remind ourselves that the holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.

Peace takes more planning than conflict. Rest takes more intentionality than frenzied rush. But those are the real memory makers. Those are the things that our children will pass on to our grandchildren. This season, would you commit to planning peace as a part of your family holiday experience?

3. Try This

It’s easy to get so overwhelmed by holiday plans that we lose the peace that Christmas was meant to bring To get everyone back to the same page, try reading the following devotion and discussing the questions as a family.

How would you define peace?

How can our family focus on peace this Christmas?

As a family, let’s consider focusing on peace with a 24-Hour Ceasefire. For the 24 hours of Christmas day, would we consider declaring a peace zone in our home and focus on how great God is?

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.