Series: CHANGE (April 22nd - May 6th)

We’re Teaching This:

Do you every wonder if your life would be better with just a little more money? Of course you have! Maybe you want to buy more clothes, more music, or maybe you want to go to a concert with your friends.  Wanting money is a no-brainer. But is that all there is to it? Is our only role with money to spend what we have and want more when it’s gone? As students, it’s easy to feel powerless when it comes to cash. Someone else pays the bills. Someone else makes the decisions. But what if I told you that you have more power than you realize? You have the power to help your family, change your habits, and even impact others in a big way. The truth is, money matters. Right here. Right now. And when you choose to change the way you think about it, God can do some big things in you and even bigger things through you.

Session 1 Summary: Think About It (4/22)

How much money is in your pocket right now? Is it enough for a Frappuccino? A movie ticket? A gumball? No matter how much money you have, you probably feel like it’s not much. Sure, you get a little for lunch or gas, but it’s not like you’re paying the mortgage. All of the important stuff is taken care of by someone else. You probably don’t worry about how the bills get paid or how much you pay for insurance. It’s easy to feel like money doesn’t really affect us. Maybe it causes tension in our house, and we probably wish we had more. But what can we really do? Should money even matter when you’re a teenager? According to King Solomon, the way we think about money, our attitude toward it and those who control it can make a huge impact on our lives and our relationships—even when we’re young. And because of that, money matters right now.

Session 2 Summary: Fight for your Right (4/29)

There’s just a great feeling that comes with buying something new. And that’s convenient because there is always something new to buy. New game system. New sneakers. New phone. No matter how awesome our stuff is, there’s always a newer slightly-more-awesome version coming out soon. And it’s completely normal to want it. The danger is when confuse what we want with what we deserve. That’s called entitlement—and it’s a trap that can hold us back from really enjoying our lives. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The writer of Hebrews tells us that there’s an alternative to entitlement, and when we choose it, we can enjoy something that no new gadget could ever give us. We can be free.

Session 3 Summary: Breaking Bread (5/6)

Any time there’s a disaster, earthquake, or tornado, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you want to help out? Money, right? Because we’ve all seen how money used the right way can help people. And most of us would agree that it’s great thing to do. Maybe you even plan to participate…one day. Eventually. When you have more than just a few bucks for lunch. See, even if we’re in favor of being generous, most of us feel a little hesitant to give. We think that our tiny bit of cash isn’t enough to make any real impact anyone’s life. But what if we’re wrong? What if we have more and can offer more than we ever realized? Through the story of a young boy on a fishing trip, we see that, when we are generous, God can use even a small amount to make a big impact.

Think About This:

Remember when you couldn’t wait a certain TV show came on? Or you couldn’t wait to get the new album by your favorite artist? Or you couldn’t wait for someone to get off the phone so you could talk to your friends? These days, it seems like waiting and anticipation are long gone. Movies and tv are on-demand. Downloads are instant. Friends are just a click away.

While these conveniences aren’t bad, the get-it-now mentality can easily drift into other areas of our life. We want a new phone before the contract is up. We want a new iPad, even when the old one works fine. The faster we get something new, the faster we expect to receive other things. And, especially for students, it becomes easy to mistake, “I want it now” for “I deserve it now”.   

In his blog post, Pace Yourself, Pace Your Kids, author Tim Elmore says, We must figure out how to pace our students, exposing them to measured amounts of possessions and appropriate experiences as they mature. In other words, if we give our students everything they want now, there will be nothing to look forward to later.  He goes on to offer some advice to parents, struggling to help their student master the art of anticipation:

1.      Pace the sequence of possessions and experiences, allowing for a bigger and better one, as they mature. For instance, you might plan…a trip across the U.S. when they're in middle school and a trip overseas when they're in high school.

2.     Don't fall into the trap of comparisons. Other parents may win brownie points with their kids because they give them too much, too soon. Those kids are "wowed" in the moment, … may have difficulty managing expectations as young adults

Pacing what we give our students, allowing anticipation to build, is certainly not easy. But it does help them learn to be content with what they have, right here and right now.

From http://growingleaders.com/blog/pace-pace-kids-2/

Try This

Nothing can help a student be content with what they have more than noticing what they have. Often, students have no idea how much money goes into everything that is provided for them. Things like electricity, water, clothing, and transportation. Consider inviting your student to join you as you work on the family budget. He or she can…

1. Ask for his or her help with the math.
2. Ask for input on where the family could save money.
3. Ask students to help you find a way to be more generous.
   
   

Not only will it help students to see where money goes on their behalf, but seeing a real budget, in a real house, can help them make wise choices with their own money as they enter adulthood.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org. 

Series: AMPLIFY (April 1st - 15th)

We’re Teaching This:

Can God hear me? Does God even exist? Did Jesus actually rise from the dead, really? And what about all the other stuff in the Bible? Did it really happen? How do you know? When it comes to faith, we all have our doubts. Every single one of us. And yet, for many of us, church can feel like the last place we would go to ask questions. Why is that?  For most of us, doubt feels like something we should hide, ignore, or silence. If there’s a volume dial, we should turn it down. But is that always true? Does having faith mean I can’t have doubt or does having doubt cancel out the faith I do have? When we look closer we find that amplifying our doubt, turning up the volume on the right questions, may just be the best thing that ever happened to our faith.

Session 1 Summary: Let’s Talk About It (4/1)

Everybody has doubts. Your pastor. Your small group leader. Your friends. At some point we all have questions about faith.  And if we’re honest, most of us have tried to ignore them, hide them, or just hope they go away. But what if doubt isn’t such a bad thing? What if our doubt doesn’t make our faith go away, but instead makes it stronger than before? Face-to-face with Jesus, one man was brave enough to admit that he had faith and doubt at the same time. In his story, we find that owning our doubt can lead to growing our faith.

Session 2 Summary: Yesterday and Today (4/8)

For a lot of us, faith can feel messy and complicated. Not because we don’t have enough answers about God, but because it feels like we don’t have enough answers from God, about us. Is God there for us? Does He even care?  We certainly aren’t the first generation to have these doubts. The nation of Israel had a history of trusting God, then not trusting Him, and then trusting Him again. Through a tradition called Passover, God gave the Israelites a simple tool to help them through times of doubt. It’s a tool that Jesus practiced and then passed on to His followers, and when we choose to continue the tradition, we find that sometimes going forward in our faith begins with looking back.

Session 3 Summary: History in the Making (4/15)

A fake bunny. Uncomfortable clothes. Searching for hidden eggs filled with melted chocolate. If you grew up confused about Easter, you’re probably not alone. Maybe you grew up in church and you know it has to do with Jesus, but what exactly are we celebrating? Here’s a hint: It’s not the death of Jesus. Yes, Jesus did die for our sins, but then real people, eye witnesses saw him alive. He had told them he would rise from the dead, but no one really expected Him to do it! The resurrection not only proved that Jesus was who he claimed to be, but it separates Christianity from every other religious tradition. We do not celebrate someone who is dead. We celebrate that He is alive and because of that we can trust Him.

Think About This:

Why do we have belly buttons? Why does the lawn mower make that funny noise? Why do I have to take a bath? Every young kid goes through that stage. The one where it seems there is a question about everything. At the time it made us crazy, but if we’re honest, a lot of us wouldn’t mind going back to those types of questions. At least those had easier answers.

As our kids grow into teens, the questions may be fewer but they become way more complicated. It’s harder for us, but completely normal for them—part of maturing is asking questions and pushing back on what has been taught. Especially in the area of faith, this can be really healthy. But, tough questions about faith can leave parents feeling a lot of pressure to have all the answers right now. 

Thankfully, in his article, “I Doubt it”, Reggie Joiner suggests that maybe having all the answers isn’t the best approach. “Relax when your children ask skeptical questions. … If you want your children to own their own faith, then you have to let them face their own doubts.”

In other words, letting our students face their doubt doesn’t mean we ignore their more challenging questions, but instead we hear them, and refuse to panic when we do. This alone can go a long way in teaching teens that having doubt is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes just saying, “I don’t know” or “let’s find out together” can be the best response to a tough question.

Reggie goes on to remind parents that doubt is part of a long journey.

You may have a primary role in shaping your kid’s faith, but you will never be able to control what they believe or don’t believe. If you could simply talk your kids into believing what you believe, then chances are someone else will talk them out of it one day. The spiritual growth of your children will take a number of twists and turns during their life. Most of us tend to forget the complicated spiritual journey that has shaped our faith. We expect our kids to skip that somehow. (from http://www.orangeparents.org/i-doubt-it/) 

Try This

Most students don’t need a parent who has all the answers, but they do need an example of how to live out your faith even when you still have doubts. They need a model of healthy curiosity—the kind that doesn’t give up just because tough questions arise.

Next time a question or a doubt arises in your mind, try mentioning it to your student. It doesn’t have to be very serious or formal. You can begin this way:

• “You know, I was just thinking. I wonder why God does this… ”
• “I’ve never been able to figure out …”
• “I wish I knew… ”

You don’t have to have an answer prepared. Just being honest about the question may go a long way in helping your teen have faith even when they experience doubt. 

Series: FLIPPED (Feb. 25th - March 18th)

We’re Teaching This:

Have you ever had a moment that made you stop and think, "Wow, this changes everything"? Maybe it was finding out you didn’t make the team or that your parents were splitting. Maybe it was finding out you're good at something or bad at something you didn't expect. In these moments our lives change direction quickly. The funny thing is nearly everyone who met Jesus had one of those moments. They came in with a plan, a direction, an identity. And as soon as they spent any time with Jesus, those ideas were turned upside down. And, as we look at four of these stories, we find that an encounter with Jesus has the power to flip our lives as well.

Session 1 Summary: Up in a Tree (Feb. 25^th)

What are you afraid of? Spiders? The dark? People who twerk? Most of us have at least a few things that scare us. Sometimes they’re surface fears. Simple fears. But most of us also have a few deeper fears. Those are the ones that we don’t talk about as much. And, if we’re not careful, they will cause us to miss out on some really great things in life. Zacchaeus was a little man with some big fear. Fear that controlled him and caused him to keep a safe distance from everyone, including Jesus. In his story we find that getting to know Jesus, and what He really cares about, can flip our fear and lead us closer to Him.

Session 2 Summary: Losing Control (March 4^th )

Who really calls the shots in your life? Think about the most powerful person you know. Reality is, no matter how powerful that person is, there are some things he or she still can’t control. Jesus met a man like that. This guy had assistants for his assistants. Everyone followed his orders. But at the end of the day, someone he cared about was really sick and there was nothing he could do to change that. However, he understood something about authority that we could all learn from. He understood that when his ability had run out, Jesus’ ability kept going. And trusting Him to be in charge flipped everything.

Session 3 Summary: Peel the Label (March 11^th)

Funny. Pretty. Jock. Nerd. Popular. Smart. Not Smart. We all have a tendency to label the people around us. In fact, we tend to label ourselves too. We think about ourselves in terms of categories. But have you ever thought you gave someone the right label only to find out that they were totally different? Or have you ever heard someone else label you and thought, “that isn’t really me”? That’s the problem with labels. They aren’t always true. And even if they are, they’re always changing. Nearly everyone who met Jesus had their lives flipped, and in the case of a woman with the worst possible label, He changed her whole identity. He gave her a new label that would last. One that changed her whole world and can change ours too. Because there’s a label that beats all other labels: His.

Session 4 Summary: Does it Matter? (March 18^th )

Everyone dreams about what they want to be when they grow up. Maybe you want to be a doctor or an artist or an engineer. Maybe you want to be known for being a great athlete or a great speaker. Whatever it is, chances are you want to become someone or do something that you feel is important. Something that matters. And you work toward becoming whatever that is. Jesus met a man who had already met his goal. He was rich. He was powerful. He was well known and important. But surprisingly, Jesus said he still lacked something. This young man had achieved everything that he thought mattered, but through his story we find that God wants more for us than just achievement or fame. He wants us to pursue Him first.

Think About This:

I think most people would agree that one of the more terrifying parts of parenting teenagers is the risk factor. They grow up and the stakes are raised. Their freedom increases but so does the potential fallout from bad choices. Parents are regularly faced with decisions on when to allow their students to forge their freedom and when not to. Unfortunately, we can tend to be overprotective in situations that they may not really need our protection from—and in the name of safety we may be inhibiting them in a way we never intended.

In his blog post, How to Help Your Kids, Live Out Their Story, author, speaker, and dad, Carey Nieuwhoff explains the benefits of letting go of control and trusting God with their story.

My grandfather and grandmother did something amazing. They let my dad live his story, not theirs. They gave up control, protection, and let God write a story in my dad’s life that was independent of their own.

My dad is one of my heroes. He actually did build a new life (in another country), not just for him, but for many others. He was not only a great father, but he ran a company for years, served his entire life in the local church and has left a great legacy of character for his kids and grandkids.

I’m so glad my grandparents swallowed hard and let their son pursue his vision. So, now the question.   

Would you?

In an era of overprotective, slightly controlling parenting, I wonder how many stories like my dad’s aren’t being written. Not because kids aren’t ready to write a story of their own choosing, but because parents are too afraid or unwilling to let them go or take risks.

Great plot lines invite things like drama, risk, mission, and calling. All the things that make parents gulp (and gasp).And by the way, my dad did see his parents again. He eventually had enough money to go back more than a few times. I even went to Holland with my dad to meet them before they passed away.

As you think about how you might help your kids connect with their own story, here are three things to remember:

1.     Prepare yourself now to release them one day.

2.     Understand that God has your kids on a journey from dependence to independence.

3.     Let them lead (without rescuing them) today to prepare them for tomorrow.

Is there anything you need to let go of today to help create a better future for your child?

From How to Help Your Kids Live Out Their Story, http://orangeparents.org/author/careynieuwhof/

Try This

Sometimes the best two words you can hear are “me too”. No matter what situation you’re in with your teenager, chances are someone around you is in the same place and asking the same questions. Do you know who those people are? Are there other parents that you can connect with on a regular basis in your community?

This month try taking two steps toward connecting with other parents around you.

1. Find Them. If you’re not sure where to find other parents like you, start by asking the student pastor at your church (or where your teen attends). They can direct you to small groups or environments where you can meet other parents just like you.
   
   
2. Talk to them. Sometimes starting a conversation with someone new can feel awkward. If you’re unsure what to talk about, start with this parentCUE. Say something like, “Hey, did you get that article in the parentCUE? What did you think about it?”  Knowing you already have something in common can open the door to more conversation. If not that, try opening up first. Vulnerability breeds vulnerability. So think of some of things you may have a hard time with when it comes to your student’s independence. And then share it. You may be surprised at what someone shares with you in return.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.