1. Be a Student of
What They are Learning
We’ve all made resolutions
and set goals, but too often we fall short of what we expected to accomplish.
Unfortunately it’s often the same when we try to become the Christian we really
believe God has called us to be. We fall short of the goal and become
increasingly discouraged. In this series, your student will learn that
following Christ is more about the small steps we make every day, not about the
huge leaps of faith that we think we need to make. They will set a goal,
determine the first step and then make it. The series will end with a
celebration!
Session 1: To
The Moon (9-11-12)
So many times we look at our lives with great
expectations, thinking we should be leaps from where we are. We expect
perfection. We expect to arrive at some level. The reality is that following
Christ isn’t about leaping to instant perfection. We’re walking with Him
daily—a walk that involves steps, not leaps. Following Jesus Christ is about
the small steps we make every day, steps of obedience, steps in relationship
with Him. Sometimes those steps are small, sometimes they are big—but they are
all still steps, moving us forward.
Session 2:
The Walk (9-18-12)
The goal of every Christian is to become more like
Jesus. But the problem comes when we think we’re going to achieve that today.
It’s a lifelong journey, a process, a walk. Following Jesus is about the steps
we take every day, and as Christians, we have divine help in taking those
steps—the Holy Spirit. What is the step God is asking you to take? And, what’s
holding you back from taking it?
Session 3:
Party (9-25-12)
What if you acknowledged the steps you took every
day in your own “walk” with God? What if you realized that even though you may
not be where you want to be, you may be exactly where God wants you to be,
learning the things you need to know one step at a time? It brings a lot of
freedom, doesn’t it? But not only that, what if we started celebrating not only
the steps we take every day, but the steps those around us do as well? Because
what may not be a big deal for you, may be huge for someone else. And all that
celebration begins to turn into one big party.
2. Be a Student of
Your Student
Many of you crave forward
motion in your family. You know what you want your children to be. You want
them to be kind, respectful, responsible, intelligent, creative individuals.
You want them to be able to succeed when they grow up and leave your home. But
sometimes you look at them and you think that it may never happen. Sometimes,
between the myriad of parenting books and child-rearing philosophies, you can
get lost in the “how to” of raising wonderful kids who become successful
adults.
In Reggie Joiner’s Orange Parents post entitled “How to Raise
a Jerk,” Joiner encourages parents in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek way about
raising kids who become the adults parents want to see them grow into. Here is
an excerpt from this post. To read the post in its entirety, go to
http://www.orangeparents.org/how-raise-a-jerk/
Some leaders say
too many who work hard at building children’s self-esteem are raising kids who
will exhibit a lifestyle of entitlement and egotism. Other specialists say
those who talk about children being innately bad are raising a generation that
feels inferior and insignificant. Every expert has an opinion and it’s hard to
know where the line actually is. Many promote their agenda by pushing the
opposing opinion to the extreme.
One of the keys to
parenting with balance is helping your children develop an attitude of
humility. Every child has the potential to grow up and understand why it’s
important to “put others first.” There is just a fine line between raising kids
who have a healthy self-esteem and kids who are too egotistical. A life of
arrogance that goes unchecked can result in a sad and lonely existence for
someone, and frankly there are enough self-centered people around. How does
someone develop an overinflated sense of self-worth and entitlement?
Here are a few ideas to help you effectively raise a
jerk:
•
Protect them from
the consequences of their own mistakes.
•
Make sure you do
whatever they can do for themselves.
•
Keep them away
from anyone who thinks differently than they do.
•
Try to give them
everything they want.
•
Tell them over
and over again you just want them to be happy.
•
Convince them
that they are more special than other kids.
•
Always take their
side when they get in trouble with their teacher at school.
•
Always take their
side whenever they are in a conflict with a friend.
•
Keep insisting
that they are the best player on the team.
•
Don’t give them
consistent opportunities to help or serve other people.
•
Never require
them to do chores.
•
Reinforce their
prejudices about people from different cultures or backgrounds.
•
Make your
relationship with them more important than your relationship with your spouse.
•
Rarely express
genuine gratitude to those who help you.
•
Teach them to
talk more than they listen.
•
Never let them
hear you say, “I was wrong. I am sorry.”
Maybe you can add a few ideas of your own… on how to
raise a jerk.
Whatever
parenting philosophy we ascribe to, we all want to see our kids succeed.
Whether it’s at school, sports, music or in the character traits they possess,
we all want our kids to thrive. And the truth is, a huge part of their success
is us. We set the tone for so much of their self-worth, self-understanding and
self-image. So, let’s focus on being a part of the steps we want to see them
take. Let’s get in the game with them and encourage their steps towards
realizing the potential that God has placed inside of them.
3. Action Point
Obviously, no parent takes
the advice on how to raise a jerk seriously. But what most of us do want to
take seriously is the opportunity we have as parents to help our students
become the best person—and eventually, the healthiest adult—they can be. We
want to help them set goals and achieve them. And we want to praise them for
their successes.
This month, think about
helping your student make one step. Think of one new thing that you would love
for your son or daughter to do. Maybe it’s to improve his or her science grade,
learn how to do laundry, cook a meal or change the oil in the car. Once you
have decided on one goal for your student, communicate your desire to teach this
skill and let your student know why it is important to learn it. Then spend
time during the month helping teach your student how to accomplish the goal.
If you want your student to
improve his or her science grade, sit with him or her and study flash cards. If
you want them to know how to do laundry, do a load or two together until he or
she gets the hang of it. By communicating to your child why you want him or her to know or do a certain thing, you
communicate respect. By spending time helping them learn, you are letting him
or her know of their importance to you. You will also alleviate your child’s
fear of disappointing you if they get it wrong.
The most important thing that
fuels forward motion is celebration. Make sure that you celebrate your child’s
step! Tell him or her that you are proud of them for working so hard or for
learning something new. When your child knows that they can make you proud,
they will be much more motivated to continue working on their new goal.
Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.