We’re
Teaching This:
Remember the game Hide & Seek?
Crouched in a corner? Trying to breathe without making noise? One person hides
and another person seeks. That’s how it works. The truth is, it’s not all that
different from our lives now. We may do it in different ways, but we are all
trying to hide from things we don’t like. Things like pain, embarrassment and
fear. We hide from things that hurt us. On the flip side, we’re all seeking
certain things too. We spend a lot of time and energy seeking acceptance,
excitement, fun, and whatever will make us feel good. The hard truth is we are
rarely successful. What happens when our best efforts fail? When, no matter how
hard we try, pain still gets in and happiness still gets away? Sometimes, part
of growing up is deciding to stop playing the game.
Session 1 Summary: The Pursuit of
Happiness (2/11)
What
would make you happy? For most of us, the answer comes to mind pretty quickly.
Is it a car? The right date? More freedom? We spend a lot of time and energy
chasing down the things that make us happy. The only problem is that happiness
isn’t easily caught. It’s slippery. We have it one minute and the next minute
it’s gone. The chase begins again. But what if there was something better than
happiness? What if there was something more constant that didn’t slip out of
our grasp every time our circumstances change? It’s called joy. And through the
words of Jesus’ brother, James, we find that choosing joy is better than chasing
happiness.
Session 2 Summary: Roller Coaster (2/18)
Life can be a roller coaster
sometimes. One week is great. The next week is terrible. And it seems like it’s
always something different that makes or breaks it: your dating life (or lack
of it), how you played in the big game, how well you did on the test, and a
million other things. Most of us try to enjoy the good moments and hide from
the bad ones. The problem is that no matter how we try to hide it, cover it, or
stuff it away, pain is a part of life. It’s something we all experience. But
that doesn’t mean we have to be stuck in it forever. There is a way through the
mess. And if we’re willing to allow Him in, God can use the most broken parts
of our lives to build something beautiful.
Think
About This:
8am:
I hate my outfit.
4pm:
Yes! School’s out!
5pm:
I hate my life.
8pm:
Best day ever!
Live
with a teen long enough and you’ll start to see a pattern: up, down, good mood,
bad mood, happy, sad. We’ve all heard about the emotional swings of adolescence
and probably remember living through our own version of it. Any combination of
homework, happenings, and hormones can turn them into a grouchy mess or a
giggling goofball. Actually, research indicates that, during puberty, teen’s
brains develop the ability to experience intense emotions like rage, sorrow,
and elation. Unfortunately, neural connections that help students control and process these emotions doesn’t develop until later. (http://www.livescience.com/21461-teen-brain-adolescence-facts.html )
So
pace yourself, because for at least a few years, you’ll have teens who have strong emotions but no tools to sort
through them yet. The good news is, there are a few things you can do to help
them navigate the ups and downs until your teenager figures out how to work
through the on their own.
1.
Be there for them, but
don’t join in.
As much as they hate to admit it, students will often take emotional cues from
their parents. How you react to their situation will give them an idea of how
they should react. So, as parents, we must be careful not to get sucked in to
the meaningless drama of the lunch table or the contagious funk of teen angst.
Empathize, but don’t participate. This doesn’t mean we have to hide our
emotions or live like robot, but it does mean that we don’t hop on the
emotional roller coaster with them every time it goes by.
2. Help them zoom out. Perspective is everything. Often with
teens, when one thing is going badly they feel like everything in their life is
falling apart. Or, if one thing is going well, they may focus on that and feel
that nothing else matters. Either way, it us up to us to help them find
perspective until their brains mature enough to sort out what is a big deal and
what isn’t. This doesn’t mean we belittle
their emotions. What they feel is very real to them, but we can help them
gain some perspective by working to zoom out their lens and take in the bigger
picture. Ask them to tell you…
…one good thing that
happened to them today.
…5 things they’re
thankful for.
…2 things they’re
looking forward to doing.
.
Try
This
Sometimes
the best thing we can do for our students is simply to let them know we’re
praying for them. Here are two options to help you get started:
1.
Choose
one thing to pray for your student this week. Don’t make it behavior related,
but rather something you want for
them. And drop a sticky note in their lunch or backpack letting them know. It can be as simple as, “Hey, I’m praying for
you to have a great basketball practice this week” or “Hey, I’m praying for you
to feel confident this week”.
2.
Ask
your student how you can pray for them or their friends this week. And promise
to do it. Since prayer requests are so personal, this is probably not the time
to launch into a lesson or follow up questions. Simply let your student know
that you love them and you’re praying for whatever is important to them.