We’re Teaching This:
What are you obsessed with right now? Is it your favorite television show? A
certain fashion trend? A band? A sport you play? We use the word obsessed a lot.
Anything we really enjoy can become our obsession-of-the-moment. And dating
definitely falls into that category. For some of us, we’re obsessed with a
certain guy or girl we’d like to go
out with. Or, we’re obsessed with the person we are currently dating—wanting to spend every minute with them. Or for a
huge number of us, we don’t have a crush, but we are obsessed with the idea of dating—we wish we had someone to
text with all day and night. No matter what your current relationship status,
chances are you spend a lot of time thinking about, talking about, and dreaming
about dating. And believe it or not, the Bible has a lot to say about it as
well. In this series, we’re going to look at three key passages from Scripture
that give us some clues how to enjoy the crazy world of dating without losing
our minds.
Few things are more thrilling than a new crush or a new relationship. It’s fun to get caught up in sharing the excitement of a new love interest. But we’ve all known someone who has taken the obsession with a new relationship a little too far. Maybe they stopped making good decisions. Or maybe they morphed into a person who isn’t really them, but who their current obsession would like them to be. The truth is, sometimes when people start dating, they stop thinking. Since all of our brain-space is taken up by our obsession with a guy or girl, it’s easier to just put our minds on auto-pilot and let our emotions lead the way. That’s exactly what happened to a guy named Samson in the Bible. And it got him in all kinds of trouble. Through Samson’s story, we see that dating can be great, but thinking is always better. Always.
Session 2 Summary: Honey Bee (2/3)
When you were a kid, did you ever get to pig out on Halloween candy? Or go to a sleepover where there was unlimited soda and Doritos? If so, you know how awesome it was until you had just a little bit too much. Maybe your stomach took a turn for the worst and you spent the rest of the night wondering how something so good could make you feel so bad. The same thing can happen when it comes to dating. It’s fun. It’s sweet. And we can be tempted to over-indulge—to let it take over our thoughts, our friendships, and our free time. We become so obsessed with one part of our lives that we end up missing out on the others. While dating really is a fun, the wise words of Proverbs teaches that too much of a good thing may not be so good after all.
Session 3 Summary: (Rip Off) (2/10)
Have you ever noticed that obsessed people are willing to make crazy deals? Like the comic-book super fan who spends his life-savings on a single issue or the baseball fanatic that drops thousands of dollars on one card. It seems unthinkable to us, but someone is always willing to make that kind of deal. Believe it or not, porn works that way too. Wait, you just got a little uncomfortable didn’t you? We get it. Porn isn’t the easiest topic to talk about—especially in church. But we promise this isn’t about shaming you or guilting you into making some kind of promise you can’t keep. This is just about making a better deal. See, porn is always a transaction. We’re getting ripped off. It distorts your worth and the worth of others. And if we aren’t careful, it can end up costing us more than we ever intended to pay.
Think About This:
We can probably all remember the go-to lines our parents used to say to us comparing life from when they were growing up to our lives growing up. And we’ve probably cringed when we heard ourselves saying those same lines to our own kids. Without even trying very hard, we’ve become a lot like our parents. And maybe nothing looks more different in our generation compared to theirs than relationships with the opposite sex. What has always been complicated now feels entirely mystifying.
The terms for dating and the cultural standards are different. What you may expect for your teenagers in your family may be different than what other families expect. In fact, your expectations and guidelines may vary with each of your kids.Thankfully, the most important thing for you to do, has little to do with the cultural whims of the day, the current relationship status of your kids, or even whether you’ve had the chance to talk about it with your students before. When it comes to your role in the relationships your kids have in the dating realm, your first step is to fill their tank.Students (and children, and adults, for that matter) tend to make their worst mistakes out of a place of insecurity. It’s not a conscious decision, but when someone feels insecure, they’ll do just about anything to feel otherwise. In her TED talk, author and researcher Brené Brown says, “the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging.” Meaning, every child comes pre-built with a tank made for love and belonging. So, if you work hard now to make sure your students believe beyond any doubt they are loved and they fit in your family, there is less chance they will look elsewhere for the affirmation and acceptance they are wired to experience.
No, this won’t provide them with an invincible shield of armor that fights off every potential dating pitfall. But it offers a solid base your kids can build on—an anchor that grounds them when relationships change. And when they know they have what they need at home, they won’t be as desperate to find it somewhere else.
Try This
While words are powerful, they’re only worth something if they’re believed. And belief comes from hearing messages and seeing actions that support one another. We know from our own experience that someone whose behavior and words match up is far more believable than someone whose actions contradict what they say.
- You are
accepted. You fit in this family just the way you are.
- You matter. You
are an important person.
- You are better
than you think. You’re more talented, more intelligent, and more valuable
than culture gives you credit for being.
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